Being a Marshmallow in a Hard World

Prologue - Some may identify with these sentiments - I know I am not the only one.

There are days when I wonder if being a hermit might be easier. No connections, no chance of being hurt, no pressure to care.

This statement may shock and surprise many who know me. I am a self-proclaimed "Social Sally" and love to amuse and entertain others. I love people freely. Trust instinctively. Embrace totally.

But there are instances, not many but enough, that challenge how I see the world and look at people.Times when I have been broadsided by cruelty, disregard or simple meanness. Each time it happens I make the assertion that it is I who deserves it. That somehow, in some way, I am left wanting as a person.

I am... a marshmallow. Physically soft (snort - of course) but also as a person with feelings. Feelings that run deep and when hurt it takes a toll on my soul that I scarce can believe. I am exceedingly good at masking them, it's a learned skill.

I am not unique in this... Not even close. Each person has been hurt in some fashion. One is no less important than another - we all get hurt.

I have hurt others as well. Intentionally - unintentionally, it has happened. I am never proud of it, I try to rectify it and learn from it. There is likely more I should do. No, not likely more, definitely more.

But then I remember...

That each day someone lets me know they care, that friendship with me isn't a burden, that sometimes I can be amusing.

Then I sit and...

Smile because although the knock downs can be devastating, there are far more gifts given to me every day from each of you. Most times you don't even realize that it happens.

But I'm here to tell you that it does...

So hermit life isn't really going to work. Because the warmth you give far exceeds anything that could hurt.

And frankly... I can't laugh at my own shenanigans alone.

Cheers and Thank you,
Lori